Lessons learned

Now let me preface this by saying that I try to be an organized mom. I like schedules, but I'm not so rigid that we don't have any flexibility. When the girls go to bed, I'll usually tell them what fun things we have fun planned for the next day and I love watching their little faces light up. Having a routine helps my home run more smoothly and everyone knows what to expect.

So here I am thinking that structure, schedules, and routines are ok but I've had some realizations. I make the mistake of using the word "hurry" too often. Lately, we haven't been very good about being on time and therefore my use of the word "hurry" comes into play frequently. But now, even when we're not in a hurry, I've heard my girls ask me "Mommy, are we going to be late? Do we have to hurry?" Or they tell each other "Hurry! We're going to be late!"

Crap.

My second mistake comes with scheduling. It's not that I cram so much into our days that every minute is spent going, going, going. We might go on a bike ride on Monday, to the zoo and park Tuesday, get out our pool on Wednesday and so forth. But the other day, Miss J asked Spouse this question, "Daddy, what's on my schedule today?"

Crap. (Although I was laughing pretty hard when I was later told about this.)

So I've been mulling these things over, thinking that maybe I'm doing something wrong. But I've come to some conclusions. The first is to SLOW DOWN. I don't want my girls to always feel rushed and they will if I don't change my habits. I'm also going to be better about teaching and showing them that with a little extra planning (i.e. get up earlier so we're not rushing out the door on Sunday morning to go to church) things will be easier on all of us.

My second conclusion is that schedules aren't bad. When Miss J first said what she did, I was worried we were doing too much. But now I realize, she enjoys having things to do. If your children are reeking havoc, it's probably because they're bored. That's exactly what happens when my girls watch too much TV or after I leave them alone too long to play by themselves. When we have a plan of what we're going to do and when, my children are so much happier. Without a plan, it's a guarantee that they will fight more amongst themselves and my house will look like it was hit by a tornado. While planning has positive affects, this can go the other way in that having too much scheduled, produces negative affects. I'm getting better about balancing the two and I love the positive change in our home.

From all that I've learned, kids thrive on structure, routine, and flexibility. It's really helped us. Soon I'll tell you about our newest adventure, having a chore chart. That's been another good thing in our home. :)