"Faith, is knowing....

...the sun will rise, lighting each new day." My husband was told today that the best thing for him to do is quit his second job right now. The person from Commerce and Labor that has been helping us figure things out for when he's laid off at his main job, said by quitting his second job, it will allow him to be able to go to school next semester and receive unemployment when we need it. Well, he didn't say that exactly but that's pretty much what he meant. He told my husband it would be better to quit today. My husband of course will not do that, because he wants to leave his second job in good standing, so he'll give his two weeks notice today instead.

I'm kind of a wreck, crying because I'm not sure what I think about it all. We don't have the money to cover all of our bills and expenses right now. We just don't. We have been working on our savings and my husband will be putting in overtime every weekend to help compensate. But looking at the numbers, I know we'll still be short. Not like fifty dollars short either, like a few hundred dollars short.

There is always the possibility of me going back to work I guess. The last time I did, it was a mess which is why I didn't do it very long because I felt like I should be home, hence why my husband has two jobs. But maybe now I'm supposed to work? I mean, there are a lot of women who also work along with their husbands, sometimes there's no way around it. Maybe I'm selfish not to want to work. I feel like my plate is pretty full right now with schooling and being a mom and a wife. I know I'm supposed to be in school, so that stays, even though I know a lot of people say I shouldn't be in school. But I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing.

So school in the morning, then I'd have to get a job in the late afternoon, early evening. But even part time is about 4-6 hours a day. When would I see my girls? I don't think I could go without seeing my children for more than an hour or two a day. It's one thing for my husband to do it but for me? Maybe it's me being selfish again. I don't mean to be. I want to do what's right.

I know, I need to have faith to get through this and do a lot of praying. I can't bring myself to pray right now, which I know, now is probably the best time to pray. I will. My husband said he was praying all morning about it and amongst all of his own worry and concern, he did feel peace about it. That is comforting to me and will help me be more positive about the situation until I feel my own peace. It's just one of those life trials that tests your faith. I do trust Heavenly Father, I know His way is best. I know things will work out the way they are intended too. It's just kind of slapped me in the face today. Anyway, I knew I would feel better writing my thoughts down, so there they are.

On a brighter note, Chester and I have spoken and the force is with us. So no worries.