[8:06am. My name is Snoop-Ninja-Dog. The day was Wednesday. Philosophy 101 the subject. A podium was my dilemma.]
Little did I know going to class would turn into me taking on a mission. I sat, pondering the meaning of life as my teacher briskly walked into class apologizing for his tardiness.
He stopped. There no podium. He declares that perhaps he can't lecture with out it. What would he do???
We laugh. He laughs. Then he says those magic words.
"I need someone to go on a mission."
My ears perked right up but I said nothing. My teacher was in search of a willing subject to find him a podium. I still said nothing. I couldn't give away my super power of podium searching, they couldn't make me! But then it happened. He looked right at me and with an accent asked me to find one.
Oh I was clever, they would never know my true identity. "Sure, I'll get right on that," I casually stated. Success! They were oblivious to my super power! Their laughter was a dead give away.
My true identity I kept hidden until I left the classroom and watched as the door very snail like closed behind me. Then came my transformation.
Snoop-Ninja-Dog to the rescue! My eyes in a squint and one hand in my pocket, my costume was ready!
I knew I was being watched so I drew a breath and took a step to the left. I abruptly stopped. THEY KNEW I would go that way. I took a step back, then eight more, straight forward. I see it, a classroom just ahead. It was calling to me. The room was dark. Perfect!
But wait, I could hear her. She was watching me. "The Secretary." I'd show her, I clasped my hand around the handle and leaped inside. She couldn't blink before she realized I was gone.
I had made it! The darkened room was mine. I swiftly made my way to the front of the room, my cape-like-jacket flowing behind me. THERE! I found the artifact!
Oh no, it was booby trapped! My foot catches the end of the table leg and I fall, podium on top of me. I should have known! Oh I must have looked so foolish!
But I wasn't going to let that deter me from my goal. I was going to get my teacher his podium, even if I only had four toes.
I stood up, podium in hand. An immediate sense of accomplishment. Oh the rejoicing that would take place as I returned with my reward!
But lo, my mission was not finished. She would be out there as I was leaving. She might have her spies trying to take this treasure away from me! So I did the first thing most natural.
I opened the door to exit, podium on my hip. HA! How would she know this wasn't my child and that I didn't come to class with it! HA! HA! HA! I felt a glare as I paced the eight steps back to class, but she had nothing against me. Success!
There were my fellow classmates and teacher in a standing ovation as I returned. My eyes in a normal gaze and my hand out of my pocket, my costume was neatly tucked away. Once again, I had saved the day.
You never know when you're needed. It's not easy finding a podium. But I did it. I saved the day.
[8:08am. Podium reinstated. Lecture resumes.]
Little did I know going to class would turn into me taking on a mission. I sat, pondering the meaning of life as my teacher briskly walked into class apologizing for his tardiness.
He stopped. There no podium. He declares that perhaps he can't lecture with out it. What would he do???
We laugh. He laughs. Then he says those magic words.
"I need someone to go on a mission."
My ears perked right up but I said nothing. My teacher was in search of a willing subject to find him a podium. I still said nothing. I couldn't give away my super power of podium searching, they couldn't make me! But then it happened. He looked right at me and with an accent asked me to find one.
Oh I was clever, they would never know my true identity. "Sure, I'll get right on that," I casually stated. Success! They were oblivious to my super power! Their laughter was a dead give away.
My true identity I kept hidden until I left the classroom and watched as the door very snail like closed behind me. Then came my transformation.
Snoop-Ninja-Dog to the rescue! My eyes in a squint and one hand in my pocket, my costume was ready!
I knew I was being watched so I drew a breath and took a step to the left. I abruptly stopped. THEY KNEW I would go that way. I took a step back, then eight more, straight forward. I see it, a classroom just ahead. It was calling to me. The room was dark. Perfect!
But wait, I could hear her. She was watching me. "The Secretary." I'd show her, I clasped my hand around the handle and leaped inside. She couldn't blink before she realized I was gone.
I had made it! The darkened room was mine. I swiftly made my way to the front of the room, my cape-like-jacket flowing behind me. THERE! I found the artifact!
Oh no, it was booby trapped! My foot catches the end of the table leg and I fall, podium on top of me. I should have known! Oh I must have looked so foolish!
But I wasn't going to let that deter me from my goal. I was going to get my teacher his podium, even if I only had four toes.
I stood up, podium in hand. An immediate sense of accomplishment. Oh the rejoicing that would take place as I returned with my reward!
But lo, my mission was not finished. She would be out there as I was leaving. She might have her spies trying to take this treasure away from me! So I did the first thing most natural.
I opened the door to exit, podium on my hip. HA! How would she know this wasn't my child and that I didn't come to class with it! HA! HA! HA! I felt a glare as I paced the eight steps back to class, but she had nothing against me. Success!
There were my fellow classmates and teacher in a standing ovation as I returned. My eyes in a normal gaze and my hand out of my pocket, my costume was neatly tucked away. Once again, I had saved the day.
You never know when you're needed. It's not easy finding a podium. But I did it. I saved the day.
[8:08am. Podium reinstated. Lecture resumes.]
8 comments:
ROFL!!!! Ok, that was sooo funny!! Will you teach a class on super snooping, share with us your almighty knowledge! We bow at your feet oh mighty one! Grace us with your presence and teach us your wisdom!
Hahhahahahhahaha! That was AWESOME!!! Way to save the day!
You never told ME you had super powers! That is the coolest!
LOL!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you saved the day :D
WOW!!!! I'm in awe . . . a superfriend with superpowers! :)
Glad to see that you saved the day undetected! :)
ROFL, I knew there was a reason I liked you... I'm in need of a stool to go with my podium.
Think you can use those skills to snag plane tickets for Minnesota?
SND here. I will find your stool. I'll do better than that. I will find you a matching podium. A stool is nothing without a matching podium. I will mail it to you and after it arrives, wait 14 hours for my call. I will give you a secret code. Wait 12 minutes more then stand behind the podium and stool and recite the secret code. You will then have unbelievable speaking and sitting powers. Use them wisely. Keep an eye on your stool. Everything should flow freely.
I was never here................
Score!
Thank you oh wise and wonderful one. I'm thankful that if I keep an eye on my stool, it will flow freely... we should all be so lucky.
This message will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...BOOM!!
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