Saying goodbye

It's never easy to say goodbye to something or someone you love. I remember when I was younger I had this purple jacket that I loved. I wore it all the time, every day for almost 2 years. Drove everyone crazy, especially my mom, but I loved it. One day I couldn't find it. I looked everywhere but to no avail. I asked my mom and she told me I probably just misplaced it. Even though she denied ever having anything to do with it, I always knew she got rid of it. It wasn't until recently she told me she had. It wasn't easy, as silly as that may sound, but I did get over it.

I remember the day I recieved a phone call from my brother telling me my grandmother died. I was in 9th grade. I didn't know her that well but I remember feeling sad and knowing how hurt the rest of my family, who did know her well, would be. Saying goodbye to her was "easier" I think just because we weren't close. Not even a month later, I recieved another phone call from my brother saying that my grandfather had died too. I was closer to him and as soon as I heard the news I had to sit down. I felt really sad and even cried at the funeral.

Then there's today, where I had my hardest goodbye to date. We recieved four phone calls about our dog today. The first one was a really friendly-sounding woman who left a message on our answering machine. Just from the sound of her voice, I felt really good about her. The second was from an older couple looking for a dog to help them pass the time and go on walks with. They sounded very nice also. The third and fourth were fine, but I didn't feel as good about them. The first woman and her husband and one of their boys drove out to look at our dog. They loved her and I loved them. They have a big yard, they live only an hour away, they said they wanted to take her hiking and camping, their kids had saved up money to buy a dog now that they are in a bigger home, which I thought was really sweet.

It was comforting to hear them talk about all the things they wanted to do with our dog. It made me feel good that they have a place for her to run and they want to take her with them on vacations. Both were things we couldn't offer her very often. It did make me feel better when they said they were LDS, not really sure why but it did. Also, small world, the husband knows two of my brothers. So in a way I felt better about the idea of giving our dog to someone we "knew." We decided that they were the perfect family to take in our dog. They even said we could call anytime and come see her when we wanted. It was hard saying goodbye and I cried. I could really use the biggest hug right now but no one to hug. My husband was home only for a few minutes to meet them quick and grab lunch then he had to go back to work. My oldest didn't understand what was going on of course. When they took the dog she was upset that she didn't give her another kiss. But then she was fine. Me, I just cried.

I'm not very good at saying goodbyes I guess, I never really have been. Our dog was the only one that was really close to me that I have had to say goodbye too. I know she's in a better home and I can only hope she will forgive me for not being a better owner. I will miss her and I will cry when I think about her. I wish I had someone to be here with me while I go through this. No one should be alone when they lose someone they love. I'll give myself time, then I will feel better I'm sure. Heavenly Father loves me and He is always there.